[josiekat]

Just when I thought I was back from being sick and everything, life just punches me in the face again. Only this time, I don't feel that there is anything worse. Last Monday, I had to go to the ER because I started spotting. The worst happened....I lost my baby. The doctors don't know why. They just told me that, "it's just one of those things." In my head I understand that, but in my heart I wanted to scream and punch them. I have spent the last week hiding in my house, and the only real activity I have had was to maybe play on facebook a bit. I'm so devastated. All I have ever really wanted since I was a kid was to be mom. I thought that dream was about the be realized. Now I have nothing. I feel like I have failed my husband, as he really wants to be a father and is almost 40. The holidays are ruined for me. I don't feel like celebrating at all. My husband feels the same way about the holidays, but we have decided to plug along anyway. I'm not looking for sympathy, I just need to let out my anger, frustration, and grief somewhere where I didn't end up yelling at someone who didn't deserve it. Thank you for letting me vent.