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oh, Josie... my heart just sank. I can only imagine how you feel and you just vent all you need to. I'm so so sorry to hear what you are going through.
I hope that you will talk with your husband about these feelings, especially that you feel that you failed him (which is so not true). The guilt will only add to your sadness and it is not something you should feel guilty for at all. My husband and I went through a tragedy with our son and times like this can bring couples closer or break them apart. Let him comfort you in your time of need and when you are stronger, you can comfort him.
Many hugs to you dear. I'm praying for you, your husband, and your little one.
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