The worst week of my life. - Page 4

josiekat · 12-09-2009, 11:24 AM

So....the week just keeps getting worse. My uncle lost his battle with cancer. We weren't very close, but my Mom is just destroyed. This was her younger brother. The services are tomorrow and Friday. She is flying in tonight, and I hope she makes in here with the horrible snow we are getting today. I just don't know how much more my family can take this year. *sigh*

Hobomom and Mimic · 12-09-2009, 02:21 PM

*hugs* I'm sorry,josie.

slandgrave · 12-09-2009, 05:22 PM

Oh Josiecat, I'm so very sorry. My heart goes out to you. I lost a baby too, it was my first child and I was terrified that I would never have children. I went through all these depressive emotions, even suicidal thoughts, which I'm sure you're struggling with right now. That is completely normal, sweetie. But just so you know, women that miscarry are highly likely to experience post partum depression - if you are feeling this way don't hesitate to call your ob/gyn and ask for a low dose of zoloft. I really needed it after I lost my first child. There is no shame in it, your body is going through alot of hormonal changes right now and things are going to be very emotionally hard in addition to being physically painful.

I pray that your husband is sympathedic to you at this time, loosing a child is not an easy trial to pass through. Especially alone. But know this, God loves you and he does have a plan for you, your husband and your little babies, even the ones that don't get carried to term. He doesn't forget about them or you.

My doctor informed me that nearly 50% of first pregnancies end in miscarraige, generally because of what is called a blighted ovum. It's where your body thought it was pregnant and you'll even test positive for pregnancy but the little fertalized egg didn't attach to your uterine wall well enough right after it was fertalized. But your body doesn't know that it didn't but instead thinks it did, so you have all the symptoms of a pregnancy. It doesn't mean that you won't be able to carry a healthy baby in your second pregnancy. I had no problem getting pregant later and carrying a healthy baby to term, and I'm pregant now and the baby is healthy too. Even if you didn't have that situation, and the egg did adhear to the uterine wall, it is still VERY common for first pregnancies to miscarry. So don't think that because you had this miscarraige that you won't be able to carry a healthy baby to term the next time you are pregnant.

In fact, my doctor said that I should look at the miscarraige I had as my body's way of getting used to being pregnant and that next time it'll get it right. And it did, and I now have a beautiful little girl who is an angel.

So don't worry, sweetie. Just follow the doctor's directions on recovering from this, take care of yourself and in 6 months if you and your husband want to try again to get pregnant, your body will be ready for a second chance.

PM me if you want to talk about it. We're here for you. You have our love and support.

Hugz,
Shanna

silverheart122602 · 12-09-2009, 09:51 PM

*huggles josie* I'm so sorry josie. It took my mother forever to get the point where she had me - I can't even tell you how many times she miscarried. It will happen for you and I truly believe that Baby Twig will come back to you when it's time.

I'm also sorry to hear about your uncle as well. It's always hard to lose someone, especially around the holidays. I hope this is the end of your hard times and may the new year bring you and your family many new blessings.

josiekat · 12-17-2009, 11:35 AM

Thank you everyone for your support. So, it got worse for my family and I if you can believe it. While getting ready to line up for the funeral procession for my Uncle, my Mom received a call from another one of my realtives. My aunt Mary (same side of the family) had passed away the night before! Which was why no one saw her or her daughter at the wake. Now, she was actually my great-aunt, and was 91, but she was so independent and was still driving and stuff, so this was a complete shock. I guess she just went to bed one night and that was it. So I went to another wake on Monday.

But it's been about 3 days, and no one in my family has died so I would say that that's a victory for the family. Sorry for the ill tasting joke, but at this point, I'm really trying to find any reason to laugh.

To everyone who has sent me a card or a pm. Thank you so much. The little notes really have lifted my spirits. I'm going to try to be on a little more now. I do have a final next week, but I think it will be cake compared to everything else I have been dealing with. I only have to get a 45 on it to get the required grade I need for the program I'm in, so I think I'll be ok. lol.

Thank you Thank you Thank you everyone! *hugs to all*

WarmSnuggles · 12-17-2009, 12:39 PM

Wow. That's just overwhelming. For what it's worth, at least your aunt went quickly and didn't have to be hospitalized or anything. If you'd like a crazy story about my Great-Uncle and the adventures with drug reactions in the days before he died, just ask... his memorial was 2 weeks ago. I truly hope life eases off of your back now! *hugs*

Slj84 · 12-17-2009, 11:27 PM

I am sorry Josie. I have been where you are. The year my grandpa died it seemed like every other day we were going to a different family members funeral. It was just afwul.

In addition last year my sister miscarried twice. Me and her are pretty close and me and my parents went by her side as soon as we heard. She got pregnant again after 5 months only to miscarry a few weeks later. Both pregnancies where exactly the same age when she miscarried. She is now happily 7 1/2 months pregnant. Her first two was what they called blighted ovums. Meaning that the body was growing everything it needed for the baby, but the baby only made it so far in development and was re-absorbed by her body, but yet she was still getting all the pregnancy signals.

You could tell she was ripped apart, both times. And with this one she was so scared that it would happen again.

slj84

SoSoftClaire · 12-18-2009, 12:30 AM

I don't know what to say, I'm so sorry. :( I just want to say a few things; whenever someone close to you loses someone, you never feel like you know quite what to say- yet death is so universal- it happens to everyone. I may not be very religious, but I believe in Heaven, as a place to rejoin your family members who have passed on.

I'm so sorry and I'm just sending good thoughts your way. Take care. You're a joy to know.