I need some motivation... any ideas?

[ladyaquitaine]

So I just can't get motivated. Ugh...

I had a baby 7 months ago and I gained a bunch of weight. I used to be a model. I went from 145 to 200 lbs during the pregnancy. By the last two months of the pregnancy I was so big and such a high risk pregnancy I could hardly walk to get to the bathroom and each time I tried to get up - I went into preterm labor, Sooo the doctors said - no walking, no moving until the baby was full term. I was bedridden for two months till I had the baby, and then for another month after I gave birth. I love my baby but now that she's older I look at myself in the mirror and I don't recognize myself. I can finally walk and exercise again, but I'm still over 170 lbs, I feel like I've aged 20 years in the space of one year since I got pregnant. For the first time in my life, I feel old and fat. While my beautiful little girl gives me complete joy, when I look in the mirror I don't like what I see.

I really miss being able to fit in my cute dresses and other outfits. Nothing fits.... well except my mother's old clothes she gave me because my pre-pregnancy wardrobe is too small.

So yeah, I hate this. Not that my mom chooses ugly clothes, it's just she's 60! I don't want to dress like a 60 year old! I have tried to talk myself into buying new clothes but every time I go to the store, I try something on and I hate it. I end up leaving everything in the dressing room and leaving without buying a thing.

Yet, I just can't get motivated to work out or eat right. I MADE myself only eat vegan meals for the last three days, and so far, so good. I do feel a little better... but I've never been this much heavier and I'm worried I won't be able to get back to my pre-pregnancy size. I know I need to hit the stairmaster hard and the exercize bike but I really don't want to do it.

Help! How do you get motivated when you just can't seem to do it?

 

[tulagirl]

Hey watch out some of us older people do dress is fantastic, epic in style clothes. I am not 60, but still I am probably closer to it than you are. LOL I think some people just have no taste in clothes. I am not always good at picking clothes for people. I am eccentric in what I like to wear for my age.

Rule number one before you get started is to learn to love how you look in the skin you are in right now. Then you will be ready to embrace a change of eating plan.

Rule number two is stay away from these skinny, fitness freaks. They would make anyone feel inferior. Set reasonable limits. Go for 5 pounds first. Don't take on the whole task just one thing at a time.

Rule three have a friend that you are accountable to as a support for your journey.

Motivation takes mind work. You have to work on how you think and what is stopping you. Your attitude about what you can do and positive thoughts about yourself. Also when it came to weight loss what always seems to work for me is incentives.

 

[ladyaquitaine]

Thanks Tula, these are some great ideas. When you told me "Motivation takes mind work. You have to work on how you think and what is stopping you. " it made me realize one of the big reasons why I'm not even trying. I love my mom but she was always really hateful to me when I was modeling and for the first time in my life she isn't constantly criticizing what I wear, how I look and what I eat and telling me I'm too thin. The verbal abuse has stopped in that department and so I don't want to incur the wrath of my mother if I start "out shining" her again. She likes to be the center of attention at all times and when I get attention she gets angry and likes to take it out on me.

 

[ladyaquitaine]

And you're right I do need good reasons to work out and eat right. I had a photographer ask to shoot with me this week through facebook and I had to turn him down because I can't fit in the samples anymore. It felt awful telling him that I wasn't modeling anymore because of the pregnancy and I hadn't lost the weight. He really surprised me, he asked me when I thought I'd be able to be ready to shoot again. I thought he'd just write me off! Instead he said he'd wait till I was ready to shoot - which has helped me to give myself incentive to reach my goals. He's such a talented photographer and I've wanted to work with him for years and never got the opportunity. So I don't want to miss out... I just have to get healthy again so I can do the shoot. So one more day of vegan meals and lots of water. Ha ha... and back to my dance aerobics daily so I can cardo the hell out of this left over flab/I may not be able to look exactly the same but I'm sure I at least can get to a point where I'll be happy with the pictures. So maybe February for the shoot? That gives me time to drop the 30 lbs. When I usually switch my diet to all vegan, no meat diet, high in protein and I work out daily. I drop wieght fast and end up looking like wonder woman after a couple months. So hopefully, I can do it again. It's just after six pregnancies... I'm 40 for pete's sake! It's getting harder each time!

 

[tulagirl]

Yea well wait until you are my age then you have menopause to worry about. At some point we need to not care lol.

 

[LightningMana-MLPcustoms]

200 lbs. Is a very normal size.

And I fully relate on all of this- pregnancies zap a lot out of us. My teeth became sensitive because kids zap calcium, and I think my bones got weaker in general.

Of course after I gave birth for the first time, I looked like Michillan Man.

It was the maximum weight I had ever been, 245 lbs.

After walking across town some years I shredded the weight but not all if it. After I had my son 4 years later, he breast fed for a bit and it cut down my size to closer to 200 lbs. again

Right now I'm back up to 245 cause of my endometriosis making me fatigued, and broken foot limiting how much I can walk

So I'm pretty sure I'll never be the same again

I can't wait to be able to walk across town again.

Pretty much though I've accept that I'm only ever going to grow bigger so I don't look back at my pre-pregnancy clothes.
It has also been a decade xD

All new clothes pretty much

Your tastes change too and can come more refined
Still you, just... toned down lol

 

[ladyaquitaine]

200 lbs. Is a very normal size.

And I fully relate on all of this- pregnancies zap a lot out of us. My teeth became sensitive because kids zap calcium, and I think my bones got weaker in general.

...

Omg, that's why I'm craving foods with calcium!!!!! My body must be like "Dude, the baby zapped all your calcium, chica... EAT MORE PICKLES!"

Dear god.... I have never craved pickles so much in my life. When I was prego I would eat an entire jar a day... no joke... an ENTIRE JAR. The only nutrient they are high in is calcium.... and since then I still have to eat several every day. It's gotta be the calcium being low... wow... I need to start a multivitamin. Thanks Pony-Formerl-Known-As=LightningSilver-Mana, but now known as Fluttershy. I'm adding calcium pills to my grocery list!

*hugs*

 

[LightningMana-MLPcustoms]

Omg, that's why I'm craving foods with calcium!!!!! My body must be like "Dude, the baby zapped all your calcium, chica... EAT MORE PICKLES!"

Dear god.... I have never craved pickles so much in my life. When I was prego I would eat an entire jar a day... no joke... an ENTIRE JAR. The only nutrient they are high in is calcium.... and since then I still have to eat several every day. It's gotta be the calcium being low... wow... I need to start a multivitamin. Thanks Pony-Formerl-Known-As=LightningSilver-Mana, but now known as Fluttershy. I'm adding calcium pills to my grocery list!

*hugs*

Hey that must be your motherly instincts taking care of ya lol

I took calcium pills cause of my fractured foot but stopped again after passing a kidney stone x.x

Gotta drink tooooonns of water

I actually think water will cure everyone's problems

Bladder/kidney infections/stones?
DRINK MORE WATER

Getting dizzy and dehydrated?
DRINK MORE WATER

Broke your arm off?
DRINK MORE WATER

Um wait no on that last part

 

[Gingerbread]

Ugh, I feels ya ladies! I haven't wanted to step on the scale in months. I was doing amazing last year and had lost about 50lbs but then the holidays came and I never got back on track and then before you know it, it's a year later and I put most all of it back on We should form a buddy system!
One of the things I found to help was looking at it as smaller goals. When you need to lose 70-80lbs that is such a daunting task but if you just think of it as 10lb goals it's a little easier. I would treat myself to ponies as rewards, lose 10lbs=buy 10.00 pony, lose another 10lbs for a total of 20=buy a 20.00 pony and so on. You'll find you've got some extra money since you're not eating out on your diet LOL

 

[Tak]

I don't do scales anymore. My clothes fit, I'm ok. @ladyaquitaine remember that when you go through pregnancy your body is completely changed afterwards. Your hormones actually change so many different systems that it's like going through puberty a second time. What worked before may not work again. I was a professional ballerina. I danced 6 hours a day 6 days a week for about 10 years. Now with my ptsd, head injuries, pregnancy, and medications I have had to accept that I will never have that level of fitness again. I have bad days and good days. I would never go back to change my path and end up without my daughter. She's what makes it worth it to me. I'm careful how I talk about myself around her because I want her to be confident in a healthy body even if it doesn't end up being magazine ready.

In the end you do what is right for you. Remember that you're worth it, too. It was a hard transition letting go of all my cute little clothes. I did find ways to dress that don't make me feel old. I'm an advocate for less clothing of higher quality if it's a money issue. Macy's has remarkably excellent clearance prices if you don't mind not being on the cutting edge of fashion. I wish you luck in finding what works best for you. You're always welcome to talk to me.

P.S. I have grey hair! Now that was a challenge to accept.

 

[tulagirl]

Hey that must be your motherly instincts taking care of ya lol

I took calcium pills cause of my fractured foot but stopped again after passing a kidney stone x.x

Gotta drink tooooonns of water

I actually think water will cure everyone's problems

Bladder/kidney infections/stones?
DRINK MORE WATER

Getting dizzy and dehydrated?
DRINK MORE WATER

Broke your arm off?
DRINK MORE WATER

Um wait no on that last part

If you are in pain you must drink more water too. I found that has really helped me.



Speaking of gray hair, I am getting that and I am going to just sport whatever color I end up with ...with a good attitude. Well that is after I throw my mid life fit. My plan is to run out and get some radical wigs.

 

[Tak]

If you are in pain you must drink more water too. I found that has really helped me.



Speaking of gray hair, I am getting that and I am going to just sport whatever color I end up with ...with a good attitude. Well that is after I throw my mid life fit. My plan is to run out and get some radical wigs.

My sister went grey at 30 and my mom got bride of Frankenstein streaks. My grandmother and sister dyed and my sister still does. I earned my grey. I actually love the way all grey hair looks on a mature woman. I couldn't stand the stink of dye anyway. So I'm with you @tulagirl I'll take it as it comes.

 

[tulagirl]

My sister went grey at 30 and my mom got bride of Frankenstein streaks. My grandmother and sister dyed and my sister still does. I earned my grey. I actually love the way all grey hair looks on a mature woman. I couldn't stand the stink of dye anyway. So I'm with you @tulagirl I'll take it as it comes.

Yeah for some reason I just have this fear of hair dye and the chemicals in it. With my mom having cancer and all that it just makes me wonder.