I'm sad, you might want to skip this.

We got some good news today. Wesley is getting in next Wednesday morning. They'll try for sooner, but this is much better than Christmas. School is going hard for Evelyn. She's just not motivated. We'll get through it somehow. Now for some food, because I've been up and out since 7am and now it's 1pm.
 
Ology said:
@Tak @tulagirl Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings.
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Every single time I watch that movie I cry my eyes out. It doesn't matter how many times I have seen it and the fact I know what is going to happen its just boo hoo all over again. I was the same way with Frosty The Snowman. When I was a kid I would cry when he melted. I would just get so upset even though I had seen it before and new it work out just fine. Oh how delightful it is to be so over emotional.

Tak said:
We got some good news today. Wesley is getting in next Wednesday morning. They'll try for sooner, but this is much better than Christmas. School is going hard for Evelyn. She's just not motivated. We'll get through it somehow. Now for some food, because I've been up and out since 7am and now it's 1pm.
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Oh that is wonderful news. You know my niece about the same age went through the same thing. She wasn't interested in school. We all knew she could do it but, she didn't want to be there and could care less for that whole year. It was a big concern she was going to fail of all things, but she didn't and now she makes A's. Kids have weird years. She has a lot going on bless her heart. We had a bit of a hard time even coming up with a good motivator for my niece to get her to do better. There were a lot of late nights and fights over homework that year and things got better. It is a tough job being a parent. High five to you.
 
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It was good news to finally meet with the surgeon and schedule the mri. However, the surgeon twisted, poked, turned, pushed, pulling, and moved my shoulder so much that I was almost in tears. It still isn't better from his attentions. *pouty face* I couldn't even do the pt exercises or sleep. It sounded like rice krispies in there with all the snap crackle and pop. I don't cry from physical pain. Not since I was 6-7. I wonder if it would help?
 
Btw. I fell asleep while getting my tattoo. Chronic pain, changes your perception of it.
 
I'm very low today. Just can't seem to move these toys. Or furniture. People don't want anything unless it's free. As my dad put it " it's not good enough that they are getting a great deal, they want it to damage you, too." I'm not talking about anyone on this forum. Everyone here has been amazing and supportive. I'm just tired. Constantly messaging and taking extra pictures, then, if I do manage to get a sale, there's packaging, fees, post trips, and updating threads. Bleck.
 
:xmashug:mad: Tak would me saying I am going to start on your OC custom tomorrow help you fell just a little better :xmashug:
 
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@Tak you are so much stronger than me. I have had pain over a level 10 and besides terrible trembling I was hysterically crying hoping to just die. Doesn't happen that often, but it has happened enough. I have ptsd as a result of pain and treatments so, I get really scared also. I wish I was stronger than I am, but I just can't handle much of what I have faced very well. I can't tell you if crying would help you or not but ouch that just sounds so awful.
 
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tulagirl said:
@Tak you are so much stronger than me. I have had pain over a level 10 and besides terrible trembling I was hysterically crying hoping to just die. Doesn't happen that often, but it has happened enough. I have ptsd as a result of pain and treatments so, I get really scared also. I wish I was stronger than I am, but I just can't handle much of what I have faced very well. I can't tell you if crying would help you or not but ouch that just sounds so awful.
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You're stronger than you know @tulagirl . Your strength helps me and I know I'm not the only one. My psychologist said that I must have damaged the neural network that signals pain. My dog breaks his tooth and I'm a blubbering mess. Absolutely hysterical after researching it. My daughter has surgery and I'm trying not to cry while she's just "I drank, I peed, I want to go home now". I'm pretty sure my pain would rate a 10 the times that I couldn't physically move and/or it made me vomit. From talking to others I'm at a 4 every second I'm not anesthetized, so a 7 is more tolerable to me than most. I'm sure. My past made it worse, but that's way too tmi for here. However, the thought that my mother is going to abandon my daughter or make us homeless, hurts so much inside that I can't give it a number. All I do is cry for wanting my mother to want me as a daughter. Darn, now I can't see through tears just thinking about it. Ttfn
 
Yeah I face pain every single day. I do not remember a time that I had a completely pain-free day. And I too have had pain that made me throw up. I do not handle other people's and medical emergencies while either. When the dog gets sick I freaked out and I'm in tears. If R2 get sick I worry like crazy about him. I think that that is very normal. I have been told by my doctor that there are some areas on my body that I should be having extreme pain and I am not reacting at all when they touch those areas. So I think I'm like you in that sense. Not all pain though is the same type of pain. I have broken my foot and it never bothered me at all sure it hurt, but it wasn't like other things I've had. Little dog will get better I just know it. My little dog is like a child to me so, it is tough to know they have to have surgery. I am so sorry about your mother. That is so unfair.
 
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tulagirl said:
Yeah I face pain every single day. I do not remember a time that I had a completely pain-free day. And I too have had pain that made me throw up. I do not handle other people's and medical emergencies while either. When the dog gets sick I freaked out and I'm in tears. If R2 get sick I worry like crazy about him. I think that that is very normal. I have been told by my doctor that there are some areas on my body that I should be having extreme pain and I am not reacting at all when they touch those areas. So I think I'm like you in that sense. Not all pain though is the same type of pain. I have broken my foot and it never bothered me at all sure it hurt, but it wasn't like other things I've had. Little dog will get better I just know it. My little dog is like a child to me so, it is tough to know they have to have surgery. I am so sorry about your mother. That is so unfair.
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It's wonderful to know someone who understands. It's rather as though my brain built little walls separating pain from my consciousness. Some are an oubliette, seemingly endless, others are filled to the surface tension barely holding it in.
 
Sometimes I wonder if I truly will survive my own memory. My mother is so much happier since she lost hers. She doesn't remember everything. I try to make sure we don't talk about how lives together with dad. She remembers some, but it is as if the intensity of it is gone. The only sad thing for me here is my validation is gone with her memory. Now it is just me and my own memory. I can't go to mom when I need help with what I remember anymore. I don't want to hurt her. Now she is somewhat at peace finally.
 
tulagirl said:
Sometimes I wonder if I truly will survive my own memory. My mother is so much happier since she lost hers. She doesn't remember everything. I try to make sure we don't talk about how lives together with dad. She remembers some, but it is as if the intensity of it is gone. The only sad thing for me here is my validation is gone with her memory. Now it is just me and my own memory. I can't go to mom when I need help with what I remember anymore. I don't want to hurt her. Now she is somewhat at peace finally.
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:xmashug: your memories are real. It's amazing that you can be happy for your mom. I believe in you.
 
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