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- Jan 3, 2006
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My bestest, sweet, good boy Frank passed away last Wednesday. I hadn't really been ready to share it right away and it's still a raw hurt at times but it's getting a little easier. It was sudden but I'm thankful he didn't suffer long. He was 15 years and a little over 2 months old. I'd noticed he seemed like he was losing weight recently though there was no change to his diet or lifestyle. So I took him to the vet and she did labwork. A few days later results came back with some off the charts liver enzymes and he had suddenly stopped wanting to eat. He was scheduled for a ultrasound a few days later, during this time he continued to not want to eat and even started throwing up most the food and water I could get in him. When they did his ultrasound they found his liver was all basically tumor. There wasn't even enough of it left to try to save with surgery. I was devastated and made the appt to end his suffering the next morning. At this point it had been a few days of him barely eating or drinking and he was so weak. That evening my husband and I spent the rest of the day just loving on him, we had blankets all spread out on the floor and we just laid there cuddling. I bought him a filet mignon and mashed potatoes but he could only move it around his mouth and then spit it out. That night my husband and I slept on the floor with him. We had him in his dog bed which was up by our heads. Sometime in the middle of the night I felt him maneuver his was down, which I'm impressed he could to, he was so weak he couldn't really stand but somehow while we were sleeping he made his way off his bed and laid against me with his head in the crook of my neck, this woke me up though I dared not move, I wanted him to stay there forever. I pet him snuggled like that until we feel back asleep. Then he turned his head to my husband which woke him up and he started petting him. Frank was laying against me with his head on my hand when my husband woke me up and said he thought Frank was passing. I left him laying on my hand, against me and pet him with my other hand while my husband and I spoke softly to him how he was such a loved, sweet boy and as we pet him his breaths slowly stopped and then his heart. It was the most peaceful, beautiful way he could have gone even though it broke our hearts. We love him so much but him finding the strength to come off his bed and come down to us to die makes me feel like he must've really loved us too. We cried and held him before wrapping him up in his favorite blanket. I'm so thankful he went the way he did and saved me the pain of having to make the decision for him. I'm glad he went at home in his sleep, loved and cuddled with us. I'm also thankful that he didn't suffer, I wish there would have been signs something was wrong, maybe we could have done something sooner but he never acted sick. He went to the vet regularly, he had labs done periodically with dental cleanings and such, I don't feel like we fell short but he just never showed symptoms. I'm trying to focus on the knowledge that he lived a wonderful life, we got him as a puppy and he has pretty much been our child. We have no kids or other pets so it was all about Frank and he was spoiled and so loved. This also means that with him gone there is a gaping hole in our lives. For the past 15 years we've had our routines and such and now it's so obvious how much he impacted our days in so many little ways. I'm sure at some point another furbaby will find it's way into our lives but I can't imagine having to go through this every 10-15 years! This is the first time I've ever had to go through this myself, I just can't imagine doing it over and over again The days are still hard for us, there have been only a couple days I've made it without crying at some point but I hope it will get easier with time. There is so much to be happy about in every part of his life, even the end. I'm trying to remember to see it this way. A couple months ago I threw him a big 15th B-day party and one of the gifts we received was a certificate for a photographer session. We finally scheduled to do it the Sat before his ultrasound. This was one of his last good days, at this point we didn't know anything was really wrong and it was only 4 days later he was gone. I'm so glad we did this before he passed, it's bittersweet but I'm thankful to remember that as a good day
Here are a couple of the pictures of that day, I love his face. He looked like himself before he got so weak.
This is him on his 1st Christmas and his 10th Christmas. He truly loved Christmas, I wish he could have made it through one more!
Here are a couple of the pictures of that day, I love his face. He looked like himself before he got so weak.
This is him on his 1st Christmas and his 10th Christmas. He truly loved Christmas, I wish he could have made it through one more!
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