nobody else to talk to...

BabyNightmare

Pony Clutz
Joined
Jul 5, 2005
Messages
1,606
So I don't really have anyone else to talk to about stuff right now so I'm just going to post it here. I don't really need feedback or anything if people don't feel like it, I just need to say it to get it out of me. It just helps.

So it's been a weird year for me. I finally got the courage to break up with my boyfriend of four years. We never slept in the same room, for the last two years we barely even spoke. He was more interested in his video games then in doing something with me. The only time we spent together was if we were going to a friends house. So not just us. I lived with my mum for the last year we were together. I don't drive, he does, he also has weekends off from work. He came once in the entire year to visit me for a couple days, unless my sister and brother-in-law were also coming for the weekend (three times that year.)

I was miserable and finally did it. He understood, he was sad, cried, said he loved me, but he understood, the "distance was too great for our relationship" I tried to explain that it wasn't just the distance. He said he finally understood and that he was sorry. That was that. I left the apartment and went to my friends apartment down the road to spend my birthday weekend with friends. It was great.

I started to have feelings for one of my guy friends, he had them back. We hung out all the time, he was helping me get my confidence back. Treated me like a person. He convinced me it was okay to get my nails done, to get my hair done. Things I never would've done on my own. He was my best friend. We got more then friendly, but talked about it and knew that right now, us dating isn't a good idea. He's in the middle of a divorce, I just got out of a relationship. So we stayed best friends with cuddles. I love cuddles. Yes, that's all it was, cuddles on the couch while watching tv, he's a gentleman.

Then people at a game we play together decided to start talking. Word got around that we're a "couple" and doing so behind my ex's back. We both talked to people and explained that we were not a couple, but my ex freaked out and got so angry. So now we don't hang out because we're trying not to cause trouble in our circle of friends.

At the same time that we decided that we couldn't hang out so much, one of my best friends online took his own life. We'd never met in person but had been gaming together for years and talked daily over skype.

I feel like I've lost my two best friends in one fell swoop and I just don't know what to do. I'm miserable. I was finally happy with my life and BAM no more happiness for Nightmare. I just keep waiting for the third thing to hit me. Bad stuff always seems to happen in threes. I just don't think I can take a third loss right now. I randomly break down crying, I'm getting sick again. I don't really know how to cope, I keep trying to talk to my one friend, but he is trying to keep himself busy and barely has time to talk anymore.

Well, that's my ranty, whiney, sucks to be me post.
 
Wow. I am so sorry that all this happening to you.

First off the ex shouldn't be saying anything to you. He should of realized technically you haven't been a couple in a long time. He has no "claim" to you at all. He is not your boyfriend and that is that. You have to be firm in your decision about your breakup. But to listen to rumors from people who are obviously not your friends I'd be leery about them, shows how little trust he had in you.

My boyfriend is going through a divorce. Shes dragging her feet and he's literally dragging her to the court-house to get it finalized. It's not as bad as they all say it is. I came in after all the mudslinging had been done. Though I do understand you being cautious and not trying to rush things.

I am so truly sorry about your friend who recently passed away. It's hard when they don't show signs or clues what theyre about to do. All you have to do is hope and pray he is in a better place, even though ending his life wasn't the answer. It doesn't solve anything.

I am also sorry that your one friend is ignoring you. That isn't right. :(
 
Your ex has absolutely NO right to be angry. None. It would have been different if you and he had still been together but you had ended it with him. He has no claim to you as you are your own person and free to be with whomever you wish to be.
That said, that really sucks about having to step away from a really good and solid friendship because of people running their mouths. :\ There isn't anything wrong with some just friends couch cuddles. Everyone loves/needs cuddles every now and then. Maybe when the dust all settles, you guys can pick back up and give it another go.

As for losing your friend in such a traumatic matter, that is the roughest thing anyone can ever go thru. Losing someone is never easy and to lose them to their own hand is just salt in the wound. It doesn't matter that you never actually met, you were still bonded to them. You have a right and a need to grieve.
Do you have any other hobbies? I know when my mind is a mess, it helps to draw or sculpt my feelings out. Maybe just write all your feelings out so they are out of your system? Sometimes that can be really therapeutic.
Keep your head up, things will get better. <3
 
thanks.

I'm sewing like crazy to help keep myself busy, but it only helps to a degree, can't sew int he middle of the night because I make so many mistakes, and that's when I start to really miss him, cause that's when we'd be chatting about the day. We still don't know 100% why he did it either. He tried to send me a video the day of his death, but I wasn't home to accept and now I'm just waiting for his family to get the computer back from the police (his suicide note was typed on the screen) so they can send it to me. We're all hoping it has some sort of information at least. His note had nothing.
 
I am so sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry that the people in your social group are hurting you and your friend. Especially since they say you are their friend. Friends don't treat each other like that.

In terms of stress relief, I suggest both exercise and drawing. I've dealt with some major issues, and instead of prescribing me medication, my doctor suggested exercise because it gets your heart beating and gets more oxygen all over your body. You can exercise at night. If you don't have a gym or are not comfortable walking in your neighborhood at night, put on some music (earbuds on an mp3 player are best :) ) and just dance. Dance away all your stress. The same goes for art. Sometimes I don't set out with anything in mind and I just throw down colours and see where it takes me. You can keep a sketch book and use it as a journal. Use it as an outlet. And if you don't draw, just use pastels or oil pastels and just throw down colour. Its about relieving stress, not creating a masterpiece.

And like flutterbyfluttershy said, it will get better. We're all here for you, so don't think that you don't have anyone to talk to.
 
Shouldn't have let gossip and your ex ruin your happiness you were building with the new man.

If I were in your spot, I would've told your friends that your ex is your ex, just that, and that you're a big girl and handle doing what you want~ if you weren't actually with your ex at the time they should understand/respect that
 
I'm so sorry life is going poorly for you. I just lost a good friend a few days ago, so I know the sting of loss that accompanies such an event. As for the situation with your ex, I'm with lightningSilver-Light. You're all adults, and make adult decisions. They're going to need to respect you and the choices you have made. There's no need for anything rude to be said, and anyone who does act unkindly... cut them off. You don't need negative people in your life. Surround yourself with good folk.

Like us! LOL! :LOL:
 
The biggest issue with the ex and the new guy is we're all part of the same big group of people and it's impossible for us all not to run into each other (we get together every three weeks for a whole weekend) and we just don't want to cause issues with the big dynamic. Hopefully it'll all smooth over soon enough but in the meantime it is serious sucksville. We've both talked and agreed that should we decide to get together we need to at least wait until his divorce is final. He apologized for being distant with me, it was his way of trying to cope, and this past weekend was his anniversary weekend so it was even harder on him.
 
Wow I'm sorry you're going through all this stress right now. I'm glad you're going to hang out with you're friend again. Like everyone said: you're ex boyfriend has no right to be angry with you. Just putting this out there: If you need anyone to talk too ever I'm here and won't mind listening to you if you feel sad again. Everyone on this Forum should stick together: were all Pony lovers after all! :1985:
 
Hey

I sent a post to ur wall but i'm not that far away if u need a friend! Feel better :smilepony:
 
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