From Neighbor Drama, to sister drama to my bf's ex wife drama... long rant ahead

Sweet Decadence

Bouncin Around Like a Bunneh
Joined
Jan 13, 2013
Messages
122
Hello Everyone! I havent really posted in awhile...Sorry about that... life has been one thing after another.

Where to start...
============================The Ex-Wife Drama========================
First a bit of a backstory -

Almost a year ago a wonderful, hardworking man walked into my life with two little boys, making me a soon to be step-mom of 24 at the time. I've had to learn on my feet, a crash course of Mommy 101. I have to be the good mom role model which their biological mother at the time was not offering at all. Last day of school before spring break the ex called us up and told us, she was going through issues and we needed to take the boys for spring break. Which is 2 weeks. 2 weeks became 4 months, we would have to beg her to watch her own sons, even if it was in our own apartment. Because at the time I was still working and neither of us would be home on friday nights, for me until 11pm and the boyfriend started work at 10pm. So she would often be asked to come over for that hour. Which she began to treat as a "secret getaway" when she didnt want to go home.

After spring break, we asked her when she would like the boys back and she point blank told us she couldnt have them at the house because they were unsafe. When we pushed wanting to know why, well according to her, her downstairs neighbor threatened to kill her and she felt unsafe in her own apartment. Then the restraining order from the neighbor appeared with a similar reason. What the ex doesnt realize when shes high, she says things and doesnt remember. So my boyfriend and I agreed to keep the boys until her "legal issues" were cleared up. So restraining court date comes and she appears on our doorstep, we were going to take her to court so she could fight it, she sat on our couch pouting like a child and said no I'm not going. Causing a huge argument with my boyfriend. She was called by her aunt when the neighbor returned telling her that the restraining order had been granted. Her father who is the manager of the complex she lived in got ratted out to his superiors after all the issues she had been causing and he was livid she hadnt notified him of the legal issues, not the personal ones. He pays her rent and bails her out money wise if it gets real bad.

She is a very weak willed person, she likes to be with the "popular group", shes 31 going on 16. She likes to party, she likes to drink, she likes to smoke pot and is often high off of prescription drugs. She made the door become a revolving one after she kicked out the guy she left my boyfriend for. CPS has been called and for some odd reason in our area they over look pot heads and drug users if their house is child safe. She is a woman who give welfare a bad name. Up until August she was using welfare/cash aide claiming she had both boys while we had them from April to Aug. Then she was getting Child Support. She had even told me that she felt she shouldnt have to work since she had the boys... that I was playing mom to. It got to the point I didnt feel comfortable with her in my apartment after she walked into our apartment to "use a phone" and was extremely creepy when she stood over our bed and watched us sleep. Then the final straw was her ex boyfriend that she had recently kicked out had to bring the kids over because she was too high to drive.

About 2 weeks after incident I quit my job. My boss was playing tug of war thinking I would always be there and tried to make me work at 6:45am when my boyfriend had the car and we had the children, theyre 8 & 5 she recommended that it was ok to leave them home alone and I should get a ride to work from my sister/neighbor at the time or my mom. According to state law I couldnt leave the two boys home alone. I called up HR and was called a liar and that I was making it all up. I told them to shove my badge where the sun doesnt shine.

The ex got the hint I was home all the time and didnt need her watching her children if she was going to behave irresponsibly and endangering their lives because of her addiction. My boyfriend finally had to sit her down in June and told her she needed to spend time with her sons, instead of calling them once a week. They had begun to act out severely, because they wanted to see their mother and the youngest would go into hysterics whenever she visited our apartment. She doesnt realize the damage has been done to the boys. Both boys are in therapy, it was originally the oldest for his ADHD. The youngest became extremely violent and it got to the point of self harm. Because he's attached to his absent mother. He would try to break window to go to mommys house, or unknowingly to suicide. He thought he was playing a game and didnt realize by wrapping the blinds cord around his neck could end his life. Thats when I drew the line and demanded he be seen by someone or I wouldnt watch him anymore because knowing her she would blame me for any harm even if they were self inflected. After having to threaten to take her to court she got him to see someone and they even said it was borderline depression he was experiencing. And they were glad I pushed to have him seen.

I am a product of a divorce, my boyfriend and his ex are not. I watched my brother do the same things as these boys. My brother never got help, he was told seeing a shrink is a bad thing by our mother and it doesnt help. She is wrong. They do help. I am living proof.

After all of those ups and downs. She got off her butt and finally got a job in July which I do give her kudos for. Thinking she was going to work the system... nope... Welfare cut her aide in half. My boyfriend recently got a way better paying job. Because she started to screw around with the boy's health again so Skip applied and got a job at the casino I worked for. From $8 swings and $9 for graves he got dual rates at his old job, no benefits and a boss who thought he was a slacker when he was the one keeping the store together.. To $12.16 an hour, Paid Time Off, and benefits. Yea its a major difference. One shes thinking we're going to be helping her out with. Since the boys are under his insurance now, and not her medi-cal anymore, shes going to lose it. And from the sounds of it their over attached therapists too. :( They were upset when they heard about the change over and so was the ex. Not the boys.

We're having to get winter clothes for the boys and shes thinking we're getting a full new wardrobe for the boys for her house too. Erm... no... you have a job, cash aide and child support money that you waste on pot. And thats a fact. As much as i hate to say that. She buys just enough food to last the two weeks between paydays and the rest goes to gas and pot. Because the gas station is near our apartment so she can "visit whenever she wants" and 10 miles away from her apartment, while theres a sister store that my boyfriend worked at thats less then 2 miles away. Because shes ignoring her car's maintenance if she gets pulled over it'll be deemed unsafe and will be towed. She claims her neighbor stole her car keys, she instead of paying to get a new key, she hotwires it. So that created a electrical issue so the back lights dont work anymore... -_-

She claims she has totes of clothes but doesnt want to go through them and would rather have us buy clothes for the boys. Is it just me that feels like we shouldn't have to be the sole financially responsible ones when it comes to getting clothes and shoes that fit for the boys?

---------------------------------------- Neighbor Drama. ------------------------------------------

When we moved in our downstairs neighbors consisted of a older couple and their teenage grandson. Very nice couple, about 2 months into our lease their son moved in with them because his baby mama left him. He didnt know why. He seemed odd but was a nice guy too. As time went on, I would discover empty medical pot bags on the sidewalk, thinking nothing of it until one night, because I do have a mind case of insomnia, I look out on our balcony and theirs smoke rising to the point I thought our balcony was on fire... and it smelt like a skunk had been run over instead of a woodsy smoke... and I was getting a migraine from heck. Pot gives my headaches. I have never smoked in my life, but have had family members whove struggled with addiction all of my life. It makes my mother and I violently sick and the headaches are so bad we cant see straight, but are completely coherent.

Our apartment lease agreement is completely No 0% tollerance to drugs and Pot unless you have proof of a medical card for it. I let it go thinking he'll eventually get caught. Then a little girl appeared, the guy's 2 year old daughter who is cute as can be. He and Skip are decent friends and he would wander up and asked for a drink of liquor whenever he was having issues with his ex. then one day after giving him a bottle of vodka as a birthday gift he announced hes the alcoholic neighbor who likes to party. He would wander about with his daughter making friends with the new neighbors and ask for booze, because he is jobless and uses welfare too. He even admitted he wasnt on the lease.

I was letting it all go, with that little girl have to to spend weekends with her drunk father was eating away in the back of my mind. Let it go I would say to myself until they went to our landlady over the dog we were watching about him being to loud. We removed the dog and the "noise" complaints continued, claiming that the boys were to loud... they hadnt been home in two weeks due to illnesses and we told the landlady that the complaint was bogus! During our meeting with her I finally told the landlady that she needed to look into the pot issue downstairs, and of our drunken neighbor's whos little girl I had concerns about. And thats how we found out we werent the only ones he had begged for booze from. :(

For the last few weeks he migrated into his patio, instead of the common areas. Hes been really good, but its the habitual liar and totally proud of it grandson who is the older guy's oldest son and older half brother to the little girl that broke the landlady's back. I understand that people like to party on Halloween, but at MIDNIGHT?! It was down pouring, I had glass bowls and have a concrete balcony floor that made so much noise that you cant even hear the door knocker if people are visiting sometimes but the boy and two girls were screaming bloody murder. Talking so loud outside in the parking lot they could still be heard and the guy downstairs was telling the to be quiet and they would laugh, scream and whistle back at him taunting him. He began yelling I'm telling on you! I had to call the cops. They showed up 45 minutes later and 5 minutes after the kids gave up. They did find their car though and said it was suspicious looking. I called the landlady and spoke with her assistant the next day. The landlady called me and asked me what was up and I told her. She said shes had way to many complaints about the unit downstairs and wouldnt be resigning with them and asked if we were still considering on moving or wanting to re-lease in the future. I love my little apartment, while we would love to get a house right now its unrealistic. I would love to move to a downstairs unit which she said she would look into.

Should I feel bad for the older couple because theyre going to be in a tight spot in a few months possibly within the next 4 months. Because they cant control their son or grandson... Theyve been nothing but nice to us. I feel like bad neighbors because of it...

===================== Sister Drama =======================

The issues with my sister started over our new car.... Its been bugging me A LOT. Our car died in June so we had to borrow my boyfriend's parent's truck that hasnt been maintained correctly until we had it. His mother as a way to control us and a way to keep us from moving before we moved out in April was claim we owed her $2000 for the "gifts" she had bought us from her settlement money like a bunk bed, mattresses which my boyfriend had none of when he moved back in with his parents when the ex wife booted him to the curb with nothing except for a TV and some consoles. She gave to him all this stuff thinking I was moving in permanently and she adores me, and didnt think me sleeping on a mattress on the floor was proper. I didnt care. So we completely paid her back, sacrificing food off our table to hers. But we kept moving forward. She asked when the truck would be returned and that she would have to start charging rent for it. So I called up my dad who said he would help us out to get the car fixed. He told us the car was dead, after some discussion we decided we needed to find a new car, we went to a company that deals with Bad Credit. My dad said we could use him as a cosigner or if it was that bad he would sign for the car as long as we paid for it, insurance and car payments which we whole heartedly agreed. The dealership had a USED 2014 Hyundai Sonata, I called dad up and told him my credit was bad and Skips was really bad to the point we needed over $2000 down to even get a payment in our range. My dad stepped up and signed for it.

Cue the little sister. SHE was LIVID! She demanded to know why we drug our dad into our situation, when we couldnt finacially support ourselves... etc. We had asked to borrow literally $45 to help buy flippin groceries before the next payday for the boys. Because he had just quit the old job and it was literally 3 days before the next paycheck. How we couldnt afford to pay for the car or the insurance and how could we do that to dad. Just going crazy on us. Picking fights with us publicly on facebook. Which is hilarious because she made dad pay for her car and he continues to pay for her insurance. We've offered to pay for everything because of my boyfriends new job. She thinks our dad got us a brand new car, not a used one. Because her car was a used car when he helped her get her first car, and she thinks the car is for my boyfriend instead of me. I asked for the car and he said he was waiting for me to ask. She tried to get dad to sign for another car earlier this year and he said no, so her payments are extremely high because she added her mooch of a boyfriend onto the loan. She claims that I'm being stupid in case if Skip leaves he'll just take the car, jokes on her neither of us are on the loan and its called report it stolen. If he ever does that, but he wouldnt. That I should move to a lower cost area before even considering getting a new car. Shes been the Princess of the trio of us growing up, she got everything handed to her. Its her way or the highway except for recently... shes supporting her mooch of a boyfriend. He doesnt want to get a job, he just wants to stay home and play video games all day. She has my mother's personality, while I got my father's. I have a extremely laid back and calm disposition, it takes a lot and I keep it inside until I explode, while my sister is a gimme gimme person and can take a by***h attitude and not care about anything, unless she gets her end results. She wants the biggest and best of things. And by me getting something new, like the car it just makes her want to ruin our joy with her jealousy.

I guess she pulled that attitude with our cousin when my dad's girlfriend signed for a car loan, claiming "you dont have a job why are you wanting to drive..."

My dad wasnt happy when he heard about how ungrateful my sister has been acting. My mom had to step in and go you know better, I didnt raise you to be like this to your sister of all people. I hate to think that shes that materialistic, that unless it benefits her, she wants nothing to do with you.

Man I basically summed up 4 months in an essay... Thats whats been keeping me away for the last few months.
 
Wow, gal. That's a lot of different plates, all fulla drama. Here I thought my life and family was complicated!

I would run away if I had that much whack going on!
 
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Well crap, I'm sorry. You are a trooper I hope things get better for you!
 
I read through the first story (brain is raddled from spouse playing Honest Videos on his phone xDD)

But man read all of that going "nope nope nope nope nope nope nope"

CPS doesn't over-look substance abuse, at least, shouldn't~ I think the people just have to be caught red-handed or something. Drugs are never a free-pass for being... whatever that lady is
 
Wow, gal. That's a lot of different plates, all fulla drama. Here I thought my life and family was complicated!

I would run away if I had that much whack going on!

yea and thats all the last few months. Complicated is my middle name it seems. Hopefully the new year will be better.

Well crap, I'm sorry. You are a trooper I hope things get better for you!

I came from a difficult family in the first place so I learned to roll with the punches and keep going. My personality is to let things go usually but if its an on-going situation I bite my tounge and try my best. But thats a relationship forget the past, and stick through it through thick and thin.

I read through the first story (brain is raddled from spouse playing Honest Videos on his phone xDD)

But man read all of that going "nope nope nope nope nope nope nope"

CPS doesn't over-look substance abuse, at least, shouldn't~ I think the people just have to be caught red-handed or something. Drugs are never a free-pass for being... whatever that lady is

In my county (California, El Dorado) our CPS workers suck. They point blank told us once they ignore pot smokers if the environment can sustain a child, safely. Because she was honest with the worker and they let it slide.

She was raised to be a self centered only child brat who parents never held her accountable for anything until she met me. Up until 6 months ago she would bully my boyfriend into things and i put that to a stop. She would demand that he do the boys laundry at our house because she didnt want to, until about a month ago when she made a comment about how I do laundry. I dont waste money on expensive soaps and extra scent boosters to make them smell nice or name brand dryer sheet. It was the most stupid conversation I ever had.

Common sense is a foreign concept to her. And I'm a blonde and yea blonde jokes dont even cover what she is.

My boyfriend once called her an unfit mother and she sicked her best friend on him at work. An over emotional guy verbally attacking him at work telling him shes not a bad mother. Erm someones blind or stoned... which was common, hes since been transferred to another store. She has used her addiction as a way to get sympathy from people and it worked until I not gonna happen. I grew up around people with addictions, they did it to themselves, if they want my help to get them sober I'll bend over backwards but do not think I will give them their pity me party. Like she often tries to get. Thats why I came here to let it out because you guys understand that this woman is just something else.
 
I sure hope things get better for you soon! This is too much stress for anyone to have to put up with.
 
I sure hope things get better for you soon! This is too much stress for anyone to have to put up with.
We hope so too. We're having to stand up to her and shes not liking not getting her way. She tries to talk down to him and he tells her to knock it off. We had some issues today that I'll be talking to the boys in the morning about. But its starting to mellow out. And hopefully for christmas we'll be hopefully drama free on the Sister and neighbor fronts.
 
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