- Joined
- Dec 9, 2007
- Messages
- 475
I've been gone for awhile and I noticed over the years that I've been suffering from depression for years. My health was horrible and in December I found out I got precancer on my cervix, it was stage 3. I stayed in bed and healed, before that I always knew that something was wrong with me and it made me depressed. A lot of my friends abandoned me and stopped talking to me due to this. Than I found out I was moving and it made me fall into a deeper depressed because I just got reacquainted with an old boyfriend of mine, I broke up with him because I was depressed and I needed to work on myself. Before I moved I got sick again and he grew very concerned and wanted to take me to the hospital, turns out Kidney Stones were growing for months and it took me two days to call 911 because I was so being stubborn. I wrote him a message on Facebook and told him that my stomach was hurting and he wrote me back explaining that I needed to change my diet. The pain was so horrible that I closed my laptop, I ended up throwing up in the sink and called 911. My mother ended up texting him and he came to visit me at the hospital. He was the only person who ended up visiting me and I was so emotional, I broke down and told him how so many people abandoned me and he held my hand. Ended up moving and it's been very hard being away from him because I loved him so much and we're both getting so close together again. He's so glad I'm okay and he's constantly asking me how I'm feeling and how I'm doing. Last night I know I shouldn't have there was something inside of me that needed to watch a certain movie, I know I wasn't dying or anything, it just made me think of the time when I was sick and how I made it through recovery. I watched: Me, Earl and The Dying Girl last night and I cried at the end because it reminds of him when he came to visit me as he sat on the edge of my hospital bed and told me how he's glad that I'm okay and that if I ever get cancer that he'll be there for me until the very end. Of course I didn't tell him this, I didn't want to get all emotional on him. The film is beautiful and probably will always stick with me, I have so much respect for people who actually battle with cancer. I know I didn't have full blown cancer, it did scare me though when I did find out I found out I had precancer and my family canceled their vacation once they found out and stayed with me for months just making sure that I was okay. It finally took my mother until June to go on a vacation and by the end of June when I got Kidney Stones again I believe my mother broke down again. She constantly reminds me everyday what a brave person I am. I finally decided to come back on this Forum because I need some shead of happiness in my life. My old boyfriend makes me truly happy, ponies will always have a special place in my heart though. I didn't write this to make people feel sorry for me, I just never really expressed myself about it to tell you the truth.
