Okay so my mom has dementia of some kind. She calls me out of the blue today to ask me when my birthday was. So, I told her it's the end of this month. "When is that?" I tell her "mom, I was a Halloween baby." " Yea, she says, but when is that?" So I say to her, "it's October 31st." She asks, "yea but when is that?" So, I say "in a couple of weeks I guess." Then she asks, "what day is it on?" I said, "heck if I know." I had to find that out. I tell her, "it's on a Wednesday." "This coming Wednesday, she asks?" "Ummm no mom it will be the following Wednesday." Mom thinks we are all kids again. Like my friend that had the knee replacement is 53 years old now. We all grew up together and I am the youngest. I told mom about the knee replacement and she was really confused and thought that my friend was still a kid. I had to tell her she is 53 years old now. Mom asked me how in the world did that happen? I said, I don't know but its rotten business. ROFLOL That made her laugh. Then she says she wants to come over and when is a good time for her to come over to see me. So, I give her the date knowing she might forget this information. I don't want her under any pressure about it, but somehow I just can't help but wonder if this is the last one of my birthdays she will remember. Then I wonder when she might forget me completely and not know who I am. Then my heart just breaks in half and I feel like I will surely die. It has nothing to do with birthdays or her forgetting my birthday or any of that. It's that my mother is gone from the mother I had. Even though it was tough growing up with her, she has been difficult all my life. I deeply love her in spite of it all. She is leaving me yet she is still here.