- Joined
- Jan 3, 2006
- Messages
- 7,371
So, I'm looking for some suggestions. Hubby and I have been married over 10 years and in the beginning we would share the house cleaning chores. Every weekend we would spend a couple hours in the morning cleaning the house. Then I ended up working a job that had kind of early hours (worked 6:30-2:30) and since hubby still worked until 6:00pm I sort of took over running all the errands and started doing some of the cleaning during the week to free up more of our weekend. At the time I didn't really mind it, I could come home do a few things, fix dinner and still have some time to put my feet up and have a little nap before he even got home. It was this way for a few years.
But all good things end and I ended up getting a better job but with to more regular hours, now I work 8:30-4:30 and hubby gets home around 5:00.
I've been at this job for 6 years now and somehow the household chore responsibility hasn't ever shifted back to an even division. I find that I'm the only one doing the cooking and almost all the cleaning, all the time and I feel myself getting a little resentful. I think what bothers me is if I see something that needs to be cleaned I just do it, hubby however doesn't take that initiative. He will clean something if I ask him too...eventually but I usually have to ask him multiple times which makes me feel like a nag and irritates me in the first place cause you see it needs cleaning so I shouldn't have to ask you in the first place. No one asks me, I just see it and do it.
By nature he is a messy person and doesn't pick up after himself so I understand to him it's no big deal but I'm a little OCD and I like everything nice and tidy. He is very helpful around the house in other ways, he's handy and always fixes everything but the house needs cleaning a lot more than it needs fixing so that still doesn't seem even.
We're going to have to have a talk about this and I'm just waiting to do it when I'm not in a bad mood about it. I'm thinking since he doesn't seem to just take the initiative on his own we need a system or schedule, so I'm wondering how do you guys handle it??
But all good things end and I ended up getting a better job but with to more regular hours, now I work 8:30-4:30 and hubby gets home around 5:00.
I've been at this job for 6 years now and somehow the household chore responsibility hasn't ever shifted back to an even division. I find that I'm the only one doing the cooking and almost all the cleaning, all the time and I feel myself getting a little resentful. I think what bothers me is if I see something that needs to be cleaned I just do it, hubby however doesn't take that initiative. He will clean something if I ask him too...eventually but I usually have to ask him multiple times which makes me feel like a nag and irritates me in the first place cause you see it needs cleaning so I shouldn't have to ask you in the first place. No one asks me, I just see it and do it.
By nature he is a messy person and doesn't pick up after himself so I understand to him it's no big deal but I'm a little OCD and I like everything nice and tidy. He is very helpful around the house in other ways, he's handy and always fixes everything but the house needs cleaning a lot more than it needs fixing so that still doesn't seem even.
We're going to have to have a talk about this and I'm just waiting to do it when I'm not in a bad mood about it. I'm thinking since he doesn't seem to just take the initiative on his own we need a system or schedule, so I'm wondering how do you guys handle it??